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Dec 15, 2009, 8:41pm

Adun Torridos :: out of .b o u n d a r i e s :: Eastern Forest :: hello [for Berlin]

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Topic: hello [for Berlin] (Read 89 times)

F U Z Z Y
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Chaos
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hello [for Berlin]
« Thread Started on Feb 9, 2008, 9:03am »

hello, i'm your mind
giving you someone to talk to
hello

Where was I? Where was life? I simply lay, huddled under this elm tree, shuddering through the winter air. Life had taken a harsh turn for the worse – worse than it had already been. Yes, I finally escaped from Daddy, but Daddy still followed me, and this time I had no home to hide in. I was out in the open for the chilling air to bite at my pale flesh. The trees were all dead around me, all sleeping for the winter. None of them offered me any comfort. Would I be dead soon too? I never suspected I would live long… I can’t even say I want to live long. Life itself was a treacherous place. My past was not one to be remembered with the happiest and the worst of times. No… my past was a nightmare. A nightmare that rang as true as the tolls of Death’s bell. As much as I tried to run away from my past it followed me every moment of the day. I would glance back and see pictures of memories. Terrible memories. I wasn’t thankful to be lying here against the trunk of a tree, though. This was a sudden twist on life I wasn’t too fond of taking. My body weight was already too little for living indoors. I could barely endure living in the winter environment. Yet, by some miracle, I managed to stay alive here, even if barely, in a simple, white spring dress. I made a bed of leaves and cowered within there, shivering beyond what most humans would consider shivering and would place it beside seizure instead. My teeth chattered wildly, gooseflesh covered my entire body. My wide, emerald eyes vacantly stared into the distance, both seeing all and nothing all at once. I could tell that some part of life was protecting me. Some mysterious figment of my imagination kept me just barely warm enough that my soul could not pass into the next realm. I wish it would go away.

The world around me was a changing place. I couldn’t remember anything about where I used to live. The past was so vague, yet so real all at once. It was not the places I remembered; it was the people who hurt me. I didn’t miss the bed I used to sleep on. I didn’t miss the warmth of the house when I came inside on a winter day. What warmth? I always came home to pain and misery, destruction and death. I tried not to think about him while I was here in Adun Torridos, though my awareness of my location was lacking. Daddy. The wind seemed to whisper the name every so often and I’d shudder, burrowing further into my bed of leaves to conceal myself from His ever-watchful eyes. For now, I was alone, which was eccentric, and almost frightening. There were a few people in my past that I wished were here at the moment. People who had impacted my life with such extremity on the inside, yet to any other person, you wouldn’t be able to tell a difference. I wished for my old companion that I had only known for a short while. I don’t remember where he was from, but I remember calling him by the name of Angel. No, I hadn’t learned to trust him, nor did he trust me. I doubted he enjoyed my company, and for the majority of the time I didn’t enjoy his, but he tore a piece away from me that I was almost resistant to get rid of. He took away my acceptance of misery and replaced it with Hope. I loathe that word still, but I remember him telling me about my chance at being happy, and I still wonder to this day whether he spoke the truth or not. If his warm cabin were here to save me from the bitter cold, I would have a much easier time believing it was so.

But I would remain here in silence, eyes ever piercing the light of day with their frightened, fawn-like appearance. My black hair swirled about in strands on my face, creating quite a mixture of milky white and the darkest of blacks. Where were the demons tonight? Those little angels had disappeared from my mind altogether. Their wild cackling and impish dances no longer plagued me, and I soon forgot about them entirely. Perhaps the daylight and the cold kept them at bay. They weren’t wearing clothes at all, so the frigid weather must make them at least somewhat placid for the time being. The only character that always appeared without fail was Daddy. At first I would see his gleaming eyes, greedy and hungry, falling on me from a distance. His grin would reveal crooked, neglected teeth. His breath reeked of alcohol, his face flushed and ill-appearing. He always came to me with that same look on his face. The look of fun. The look of ever-lasting hunger for bloodlust, for the innocence I once held but held no longer. Oh, Daddy came to visit me every night and spattered cruelties of every kind upon me. When his heavy weight wasn’t crushing down on me, it was setting me on fire as I stood plastered against a tree, unable to move, unable to breathe. These fears… these phantoms were all physically real in my mind. Flames licked at my bare legs, threatening to burn me, threatening to destroy this fragile thread of life of mine. They were as real at the frigid winter air, or the crisp deaths of these leaves I laid upon.

The night was ever nearing. I could feel the wind growing steadily stronger. The leaves, in their slumber, hunched over and groaned against the chilling cold and away from the shadows that grew steadily longer. I had tried to sleep before, but now that sunset was steadily approaching, my wide eyes grew only wider, scanning the sparse forest over and over again, fearing the worst, knowing what was going to come sooner rather than later. There was no surprise when a set of hazel eyes peered at me from the darkness, its innocent giggle soon to follow. I shrunk away and clamped my eyelids shut, but I could tell that the impish, stark naked angel was creeping steadily closer. Finally, I opened my eyes again to see its round, jolly face gleaming at me from only a few feet away. That same imp that always held a key in its chubby fist. It stayed where it was, but its peevish grin frightened me even more. It warbled things I could not understand, but I listened intently and shook my head from time to time. Night was growing closer, and I knew that with night, Daddy would come. I appreciated this imp’s company much more than Daddy’s. Perhaps if I kept the key-angel present, Daddy would stay away tonight. God, I hoped so.

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sedge
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Re: hello [for Berlin]
« Reply #1 on Feb 12, 2008, 7:22pm »

A brief excerpt from the life of Miss Berlin.

She had done a lot of walking as of late.

Walking over hills and through valleys. If there was any particular destination in her mind, it refused to reveal itself. She had past what seemed like a million trees, some barely twigs, some grand oaks, some black and charred. She had past towns in ruins, ponds with rotting docks, gorges and canyons of epic proportions. Her feet never grew weary, for they would not until this journey to nowhere was done. They knew, just as she did, how important a place to rest was in such times. They were well aware. They saw the necessity of the thing—no shelter, no protection. Though Ber was less than inclined to thinking she needed protection of any kind, this was the kind that no living thing could do without.

She had no idea how many miles she had come. But the farther she could get from what she had left behind, the better. She had grown tired of her previous residence, of those people, of their petty small talk. She hated her mother, the most—chattering, imbecile woman, never conceding to shut up. Yes, that was good ol’ mom. Ber had once idolized her beauty, and station as a social butterfly. Then the girl came to understand: she was not as she seemed. She was smarter than she looked, and cruelly manipulating, without a single thought as to the fact that these were the members of her family, who she claimed to love, and instead victimized.

The boy—her “brother”, they called him, though she knew very well he could not have been any child of her parents. He was too nice, too naïve. Stupid, ill beast. He was more than ten years her senior, and Berlin could have gotten him to do anything with a little smile and maybe a threat at tears. The sister, not so much. Even older than the boy, and with twice the wits. She played innocent, though. Ber had learned that from her, how to look as if you know nothing and really know it all. If only she did not have such a romantic heart, always dragging that shallow husband of hers everywhere, then they could have been allies. What a pity.

Sister and her were alike because they were really sisters—though she did not have any of mother’s foolish blood to poison her. They shared only Father, who was the only one of the bunch that Ber could speak with for more than a few sentences at a time. Mother was often jealous when she found them discussing in voices little more than whispers, talking of psychology and mistaken ethics. The girl knew that people thought her father was a sick man, but she thought better of him—he was, perhaps, the sanest person she knew. When she was little, and got those rushes of violent passion that she could not understand, he had been the only person she had trusted enough to confide in. He felt them too, pulsing through his veins, seeping into his thoughts. Now, she well knew how to suppress her less attractive impulses, but they had bonded when they had figure out this thing that they shared, this demon in their hearts.

She thought of him now, as she strolled. Yet another forest, this one desolate, the trunks of its thin trees stretched upward endlessly. There was a chill about; a fighting wind. Berlin pulled the straps of her rucksack closer—she had a feeling there was someone else, nearby. Then, a whimper. Soft at first, so that she could not clearing distinguish it from the breeze. It grew louder the more steps she took, and after a moment, her eyes found the source. A child, female, 11 or 12. Pathetically thin and dirty, in nothing more than a light dress, despite the cold. She lay curled in a paltry position with her knees to her chin. The older girl stood over her.

Ber felt no sympathy, not for anyone. But she was curious—a weakness, I’m sure. She wanted to know why, why was she like that? What trouble had befallen her? It would be something to learn from, something she could use, especially if it was not a stereotypical situation. And even if it was, humans in horrific misery were more interesting than ones in eternal happiness.

“Little girl,” she said, nudging the child gently with her foot. “What is wrong with you?”

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F U Z Z Y
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Chaos
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Re: hello [for Berlin]
« Reply #2 on May 4, 2008, 1:39pm »

i want to go back to believing in everything
and knowing nothing at all

Night was crawling ever closer. The shadows were beginning their sluggish, ominous descent towards the blistered soles of my feet. They yawned and stretched, expanded further and further, shadows of open arms casted down by the branches of trees grabbed recklessly at my fragile body. I shuddered all over, pulling myself into an emaciated ball. The wind was howling at me, threatening me with thoughts of death if I didn’t find shelter soon. The magic that kept me alive was slowly growing weaker as the sun descended. Its soft, comforting presence was writhing farther and farther away, cringing back as the angel danced closer. The trees were spread much too far apart for any kind of natural barrier, and my dead friends that made my bed were slowly circling away from me. Even with my little key-angel smiling peevishly at me from a small distance, I felt utterly alone. Not a single soul in this entire dimension could hear my cries if I managed to let them out. My eyes were glassy with the tears of fright, but I no longer noticed if they rolled down my cheeks. My body was completely numb, completely miserable. I could only continue to hope that this magic would completely go away, and I could die in peace.

The little angel finally danced forward to me, jumping from shadow to shadow, as though it was forbidden to touch the straining lights of the sun. I watched it carelessly, listened to it shriek as it advanced towards me. Fright had left my mind. I could only lie still and wait helplessly for death to capture me now. The angel stood at my head now and leaned over me, warbling possessions over my frail figure. I stared up at it, but did not see. I was dizzy from the cold and the quaking of my body. I could only hear it grow louder whenever the wind would pick up. What it was saying, I had not the faintest idea. I finally looked away and snuggled into my pile of leaves again. Torment had gotten the better of me now. I was alone and dying; my soul was learning to accept that. I could not hear the sound of footsteps coming from a distance. I could not see the girl coming closer to me, for my eyes were clenched tightly shut. I nearly fell under unconsciousness now. The memories of Daddy disappeared. I could no longer see his face behind my eyelids. I could not smell his alcoholic breath on my skin. I couldn’t feel his burning, bloodlust touch anymore. I could not remember the face of my angel, or the warbling language it cried at me from only a few feet above my ear. I did not remember that fateful key it kept grasped in its chubby hand. I don’t remember wondering what that key was for, and why it always held it. Do away with me please, God. I don’t want to be here anymore.

Suddenly, I felt a nudge against me. At first I didn’t move, like I was a carcass, or at least becoming one. It wasn’t until her voice reached me that I came to live, suddenly lurching from my resting spot and pressing myself against the tree behind me, my back digging into its frigid bark. I nearly toppled over from moving so fast – my numb muscles couldn’t coordinate myself very well. I glanced to the side to see my angel disappear behind a thicket of trees, braying unhappily with the appearance of the other girl. I stared sheepishly at her for a while, my green eyes wide and frightened, but hopelessly curious as well. Who was this girl? She looked almost like I would in a few years from now. Her hair was long and black like mine, and her frame was slender. Her eyes were darker than anything I had ever seen though, much in contrast to my green ones. Was she my soul? I doubted it… because she seemed like she didn’t know me. I blinked placidly, my thin lips quivering with the desire to cry out, or say something, but I could not bring myself to do so. Instead, I inched a little bit closer to her, scanning her warily.

When I looked behind her though, a sudden fear bolted through me. Not far behind her stood that same figure I always saw when the sun descended behind the earth. His eyes stayed eccentrically focused on me, without blinking, without changing expression. He smiled, showing off his crooked teeth, and he stepped closer to me, lurching in that way he always did when he was intoxicated. I shuddered and looked at the girl, pleading with her silently to understand me. “Help…” I murmured, my voice hoarse and neglected. I staggered to my feet and practically fell into her, clenching her with my weak arms. I held on as tightly as I could and buried my face into her collarbone. I had no time to not trust her. I needed to get away from him, and this person… this angel… this somebody might be able to help me. Her warmth was heavenly on my frozen body, but I kept myself rigid in case she threw me off. In all truth, that’s what I was expecting from her. “Please help… nowhere to go… I’m… lost…” I strung words together in one of the most sane things I’ve said in years. My eyes welled again with tears and I burst into dry sobs, clinging to this stranger for one of the many things I did not understand. Life.

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